Just A Days Thought

Today I woke up, slowly walked into the kitchen to get my first cup of java, got my lap top and crawled back into bed. Before settling down I opened every window blind, so as I write this the sun is streaming in. How good is this??!!
Tomorrow is Easter.
Easter.
My faith in Jesus is total , and it fills my heart and soul plum-up to the top!!

I had a conversation with a good friend this week, we talked about JOY.
People say that I make them feel good about themselves, people do seek out my company, either to hear my humor or my bantor, or just to make jabs at my good nature. How irritating I can be most days, trying to be "up and happy by-choice".
One person that I work with told me this week to
"hush-up, not everyone could fart rainbows" like me.
When she said this I CRACKED UP!!
I've never heard it put like that to me...oh believe me, I've had lots of things said to me about my cheer'full'ness, over the years.

I have a lot of sadness deep down in my soul, like we all do.
If you've ever loved people and lost them to death, it makes you really recount every minute here with them.
Holes are left in those spots of the heart.
If you've ever been disappointed in someone that you loved the most, there's another hole. If you've ever had financial hardship that will create so much anxiety,
holes happen....
Now, the good news...total faith in Jesus can fill those holes.
I try to see every sunrise as another chance to get it right.
I want to "love" it all-right.
I want to understand what God wants of me this day.
So, every day I try to see "why" God has given me this time.
I'm really sure He doesn't want all my holes to show.
I'm sure He's happy with me "farting rainbows!"

Billy's Wedding! First weekend of Spring Break!

My nephew Bill Little got married!
History of Billy and me...we are like brother and sister. He is 3 years younger than me and one of my best friends in the world.
The ceremony was wonderful, Stacie sang a song and it brought tears to my eyes, it was so beautiful and sweet!
I wish for them... a life time of love!

Nick and I left the church after the reception was all cleaned up, it was 9:30pm.
(Anyone that knows me.... knows I don't get out after dark)
Nick has a GPS that he got at Christmas...so he pushes a few buttons and we are on our way, from Texarkana, to back home in Longview.
It was DARK and rainy.
The little man on the GPS, told us to take a turn and we missed it, so he had to recalculate, we weren't on a road that you could turn around on, we had to wait for the next exit. We took that one and he recalculated the drive again.
Now, we were on the darkest, curviest, skinniest, highway ever...and no one seemed to live on this road. Another turn came up, we missed that one too but we did turn around and go back to that county road. This road was just as bad as the last one. It looked like Big Foot country. Fauke, AR wasn't far...
We came upon a sign that said Bloomburg, TX, to the left.
That's when I knew we had traveled deep into the countryside.
(I have a dear friend from Bloomburg)
Of course my husband was so funny during this adventure...comments,
"Girl, I don't think we know where we are"(Nick)
"yeah, Nick we are right here, as I'd point to the car on the GPS"(me)
"girl, do you see Big Foot any where?"(Nick)
"Good thing we aren't meeting any cars on this skinny, dark, wet road"(me)
"Why aren't there any cars? Only 10pm"(me)
"Big Foot got them" (Nick)
I CRACKED UP!
Well, we eventually came out on a main highway that we recognized.
We got home safely. Exhausted...yes.

Good Bye...For now.

Today I drove 4 hours to honor a sweet 5 year old boy. He left this life in a car wreck along with his 47 year old Grandmother. It was a double service. Double sad for his surviving Mother, and the other family members.
As I watched the videos, and saw the love on that screen in those pictures, the thought came to mind...how special that he didn't have to leave this life alone. He was in the company of his grandmother that loved him dearly. They were together when they met Jesus!
Of course all of this sadness makes you recall things in your own life.
Perhaps I won't take the little moments for granted.
The big times always stand out, but the little ones, like smelling coffee first thing in the morning, like really hearing the "I love you's" sent over the phone. Smelling puppy breath. Slipping into a hot bubble bath.
So, on the drive home, 4 hours again, my soul sighed...
My heart belongs to Jesus, there's no fear in me for death,
only fear that I will take each gift He gives me of the time here and I'll waste it.

Rotten Mood

Every time we blog we try to tell things with a lighter twist,
now you are gonna read about a rotten mood.

It wasn't a good mood day.

To start with there was no one certain thing that made the day a rotten one.
Just everything.
On days like this I feel a little guilty.
For one thing, I totally try to FAKE it.
I put on a FAKE smile, and cringe when I have to be cheerful.
I see so many people in a day that I have found if I let my true mood show, people get so freaked out! They act like I should never have a rotten mood. That even makes me in a worse mood.
So, today even waiting for one car ahead of me in line at the cleaners,
irritated me for the wait (which wasn't long).
I won't list all the irritations.
Because it wasn't the people's faults, it was just my rotten mood.

You've all been there, done that.

Home, is so wonderful.
On a rotten mood day, just closing the door behind me as I enter my house is a wonderful feeling.

Safe from FAKE.

These days are needed, so that when we have good mood days,
we will know the difference.

The Farm

Nick and I just had three days at our farm.

Before we went to the farm Nick and I watched a slasher movie(we weren't sure it was one til after so much time was invested we felt we needed to finish it)
In this movie a couple were staying in a cabin way out of town and people knocked on the door and then proceeded to torment them and eventually kill them.

The first night I sorta started thinking of that movie.

Now, I do not normally get freaked out or scared very easy, unless it's over a mouse.
As bed time approached, my mind started playing tricks on me.
Sounds outside, my heart would race.
Finally, I say to Nick "are any of your guns loaded in here?"
"Yeah, the ones in the corner, the pistol in the closet, why?"
"I just feel a little spooked, thinking about that movie"
As I settled into my pillow, to sleep, I think how far the nearest person is to the farm.
As sleep takes me over, I have a dream of running from bad people, people trying to kill me, and Nick can't save me.
I must have ran from the bad people all night because when I woke the next morning I was sore all over and still very tired.
I won't be watching slasher movies ever again even by accident!

The days and nights were fine after that first night.
We rode the fields and woods in our Ranger. One deer feeder was torn apart, screws and all. After some detective work Nick determined it was a racoon's fault.
Nick repaired it and off we went.

Nick's younger brother came down to see us two of the three nights. One of those nights he killed a wild hog. Good riddance...they tear up the land so badly, all farmers hate them and their destruction. The next day the buzzards were very busy with the dead hog. It's amazing how God has made everything with such a plan and purpose.
Buzzards...even their name seems so sinister.
But, they have a purpose...so cool.

I walked some and sat alone in a deer stand, to watch the wind whip around, and the birds at play. I didn't get to see another animal even though I was patient and quiet.
It's like that sometimes.
Then other times, we can sit on the porch and see deer like crazy.

No matter.
The time spent at the farm is a refresher for us.
It's a time that we can reconnect, with each other and our selves.

Nick comes in all dirty, with a big smile on his face. Something as easy as driving the tractor and pushing trees out of the way of a path that have fallen.
You can tell, it just feels good to him.

When the days came to a close and the dark enveloped us out there in the bottoms, it's a simpler place and time.
A happy place.

Valentine's Day

I'm going to tell you about a Valentine's Day a long... long time ago.
It started one Christmas.
1976.
I was a senior in high school and one adorable (and super cool) Nicky Neel and I had been going steady for six years with only a few break-ups throughout that time.
We had been talking marriage a lot, we even started buying household things like pots and pans and such.
(we started our own hope chest; for you, that remember that term)
Here comes Christmas time, and my birthday...I'm really expecting a ring and a formal proposal, I'm handed a long narrow box. We are in his parents living room, everyone's eyes on me.
I hold the package a moment longer than normal, my mind is racing.
I take the ribbon off. All is quiet.
I unwrap it quickly to get this over with..and I think..."WHAT?!"

It's a .22 rifle.

Nick instantly grabs it up and acts sooo proud of his purchase, showing it to his Dad and brothers. My disappointment is sidelined by their enthusiasm.

OK, I got a gun.

After our family gathering, and I return home everyone asks me to see my finger, expecting to see a ring...

I pull out my gun.

For days the phone rings from friends, everyone wanting to hear the news of a new diamond, and I have to tell them...

I got a gun.

Well, my feelings are a little hurt. Naw, my feelings are demolished!!! Of course, I discuss this issue with him, heated at times, but he would always say...

"I've got my own way, my own time."

A couple months go by, Nick even buys some new towels for our hope chest and adds them to our collection, of course all the while professing his undying love for me.
We regularly target shoot with

MY NEW GUN.

Now, it's Valentine's day. This is it! He will do it today! How romantic! This is what he was waiting for! How memorable!

He grills me a steak and bakes me a potato, gives me a small box.

I take it in my hands, start unwrapping it, I can't believe it!!!

A case of .22 shells for....

my new gun.

I cried. Right there in front of him. oh well. We should share our grief and I was so sad.
But, time went on, we didn't break up and somehow I understood my strange and unpredictable, cool and adorable, smart boyfriend.
He was smart enough to know we needed to wait to get married for several reasons.

We did get engaged, October of 1977.
We got married December31,1977.

His way, his time.
He said "We've gone together forever, so no need in a long engagement, and if we marry before January 1st I can claim you on my income taxes, your mom will understand".
Well, as crazy as this makes ME sound...I always knew Nick had my heart. I always knew however it went, we'd be happy. Yes, I'm a trusting soul....

Here we are many years later and
we both agree there's no need for fancy cards, or pretty flowers.
But he cooked me the best boiled shrimp and potatoes, and his own homemade shrimp sauce!
So, this is our 38th Valentine's Day.(7 years of courtship; 31 of marriage).

And even after all this time he still thinks

a gun is the BEST gift ever!!!!!

Pleather Beauties!

We have this couch and love seat that has been a pain in the a-- for the last 6 years...

Let me start at the beginning.
When we got the mobile home on our farm in 2003, it came with a couch and love seat that is the "pleather" fabric.

Plastic, pretending to be leather. ug. and ugly.

Nick dug his heals in and REFUSED to let us change the furniture for something more comfortable.
Nick's argument was that it was PERFECT for the farm, it wouldn't get dirty when other people came in with mud and such. (No one has ever come in terribly dirty)
Nick also thought it looked manly and good.
So, for 6 years we STUCK to the couch in the summer and FROZE on it in the winter.

I hated those couches.

Finally, we bought new couches for our house and took our old blue couches to the farm.
Finally we now have comfort at the farm!

Nick insisted we bring the "pleather" ones home to sell them in a garage sale.
Today was our sale...I heard comments like "those are pretty rough" people talking about the "pleather" beauties.
One lady talking on her cell phone says "Hon, I'm looking at them and they are bugared up."
Nick is kinda getting the idea by now...
Final draw we load the "pleather" beauties up to take them and donate them to Good Will.
The dog pound of all bad merchandise where it goes to die....
Nick still feels confident that HIS couches will find a home soon...
As Nick hops out of the truck to unload his treasure, the young guy in charge of all the donations left there in his charge, says......

"I can't do nothing with that"

Nick looks like a deer caught in headlights!
Nick says "WHAT?!"
The young guy says "we can't sell that".
Nick is lost for words...
Then Nick says
"What am I suppose to do with them???"
The poor guy says nothing. What's there to say?
Could he say...."not my problem"?
Nick gets back in the truck and I'm holding in the laughter.
Nick's face, ears, neck is bright red!
I CRACK UP!!!!!!!!!
As we are driving away, Nick says "I'm starting to think my couches aren't as good as I thought."
I'm thinking, "No Shit, Shurlock!"
We both start to laugh all the way home.
Very seriously, Nick says "What will we do?"
Very seriously, I say "I'll call bulk trash pickup for Tuesday."
Then we both CRACK UP laughing all over again.